TRUE TOLERANCE

Check us out at Friendship House

The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139

I first heard the short form of the Third Tradition in the Preamble. When I came to A.A. I could not accept myself, my alcoholism, or a Higher Power. If there had been any physical, mental, moral, or religious requirements for membership, I would be dead today. Bill W. said in his tape on the Traditions that the Third Tradition is a charter for individual freedom. The most impressive thing to me was the feeling of acceptance from members who were practicing the Third Tradition by tolerating and accepting me. I feel acceptance is love and love is God's will for us.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day


A.A. Thought for the Day

We who have learned to put our drink problem in God's hands can help others to do so. We can be used as a connection between an alcoholic's need and God's supply of strength. We in Alcoholics Anonymous can be uniquely useful, just because we have the misfortune or fortune to be alcoholics ourselves. Do I want to be a uniquely useful person? Will I use my own greatest defeat and failure and sickness as a weapon to help others?

Meditation for the Day

I will try to help others. I will try not to let a day pass without reaching out an arm of love to someone. Each day I will try to do something to lift another human being out of the sea of discouragement into which he or she has fallen. My helping hand is needed to raise the helpless to courage, to strength, to faith, to health. In my own gratitude, I will turn and help other alcoholics with the burden that is pressing too heavily upon them.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be used by God to lighten many burdens. I pray that many souls may be helped through my efforts.

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Thought for Today


Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into
enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order,
confusion to clarity. . . . Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings
peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.


--Melody Beattie


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Buddha/Zen Thoughts

Enlightened Beings

You have your own values, and you always look through those values. An enlightened person is totally in a different dimension, where he lives without values, where he lives without any criteria, where he lives without any morality, where he simply lives without the ego. An enlightened person simply lives. He is not manipulating his life, he is a white cloud floating. He has nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. Nothing is good for him and nothing is bad. He does not know any God, he does not know any devil. He knows only life, and life in its totality is beautiful....

An enlightened person always appears like a madman. So the first thing to be understood is don't evaluate an enlightened person through your values - very difficult, because what else can you do. ...

Second thing: an enlightened person behaves from the center never from the periphery. You always behave from the periphery, you live on the periphery, the circumference. To you the circumference is the most important thing. You have killed your soul and saved your body. The enlightened person can sacrifice his body, but cannot allow his soul to be lost. He is ready to die - any moment he is ready to die - that's not a problem. But it is not ready to lose his center, the very core of his being.

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Native American

"Humility is probably the most difficult virtue to realize."

--Thomas Yellowtail, CROW

Two definitions of humility are (1) being aware of one's own defects of character, and (2) giving credit where credit is due. This means if you do something and are successful because God gave you certain talents, give credit to God when someone tells you how well you did; this is being humble. If you are successful at something, but had help from friends, spouse, neighbors, give credit to those who helped you; this is being humble. If you have done a task and you alone accomplished it, give credit to yourself; this is being humble. Say the truth and give credit where credit is due.

Grandfather, let me walk a truthful road today.

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Keep It Simple

The more one judges the less one loves. --- Balzac

At times we need to make judgments about people's behavior. We stand back and look at how their lives affect our sobriety. We have to do this to choose people whose relationships will be good for us. We have to do this before we trust someone in business. We should take a good look at the others person before we fall in love. But we decide to trust or love someone, we have to stop judging.
When we love someone, we don't stand back. We move in close. We give them all our love can offer. We don't just think and judge. We feel. We are on their side. We look for the good in them. We don't pick them apart. We love the whole person.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to judge a little and love a lot. Help me accept the people I love, faults and all. Help me love them better.

Action for the Day: Today, I'll catch myself when I start to judge others. I will accept them as they are.

WHAT WE NEED --- EACH OTHER

Come get what you need at Friendship House.

. . . A.A. is really saying to the serious drinker, "You are an A.A. member if you say so . . . nobody can keep you out."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, up. 139
For years, whenever I reflected on Tradition Three ("The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking"), I thought it valuable only to newcomers. It was their guarantee that no one could bar them from A.A. Today I feel enduring gratitude for the spiritual development the tradition has brought me. I don't seek out people obviously different from myself. Tradition Three, concentrating on the one way I am similar to others, brought me to know and help every kind of alcoholic, just as they have helped me. Charlotte, the atheist, showed me higher standards of ethics and honor; Clay, of another race, taught me patience; Winslow, who is gay, led me by example into true compassion; Young Megan says that seeing me at meetings, sober thirty years, keeps her coming back. Tradition Three insured that we would get what we need --- each other.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day


A.A. Thought for the Day

We used to depend on drinking for a lot of things. We depended on drinking to help us enjoy things. It gave us a "kick." It broke down our shyness and helped us to have a "good time." We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low physically. if we had a toothache or just a hangover, we felt better after a few drinks. We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low mentally. If wed had a tough day at work or if we'd had a fight with our loved one, or if things just seemed against us, we felt better under the influence of alcohol. For us alcoholics, it got so that we depended on drinking for almost everything. Have I gotten over that dependence on drinking?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that complete surrender of my life to God is the foundation of serenity. God has prepared for us many mansions. I do not look upon that promise as referring only to the afterlife. I do not look upon this life as something to be struggled through, in order to get the rewards of the next life. I believe that the Kingdom of God is within us and we can enjoy "eternal life' here and now.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may try to do God's will. I pray that such understanding, insight, and vision shall be mine as shall make my life eternal, here and now.

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Thought for Today


"Pleasure is a by-product of doing something that is worth doing.
Therefore, do not seek pleasure as such. Pleasure comes of
seeking something else, and comes by the way."

--A. Lawrence Lowell

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Buddha/Zen Thoughts


Your search among books, word upon word, may lead you to the depths of knowledge, but it is not the way to receive the reflection of your true self.

When you have thrown off your ideas as to mind and body, the original truth will fully appear. Zen is simply the expression of truth; therefore longing and striving are not the true attitudes of Zen.

-Dogen, "The Practice of Meditation"


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Native American


"Also ask your heart to purify and cleanse this defect and harmful desire. Ask also the help of the inner father and mother. Every time we eliminate a defect, we build our soul, our inner temple. We ascend. like going up a stairway."

--Willaru Huayata, QUECHUA NATION, PERU

The building blocks to knowledge and wisdom are constructed through the lessons of our character defects if we constructively review our conduct each day, asking where we are resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Remember, we need to review constructively, not destructively. Destructive review is when we ask, "what's the matter with me anyway." or "how could I be so stupid?" These question lead to morbid reflection or remorse and seriously affect our self esteem. In constructive review we ask, "what will I do next time?" With constructive review we progressively eliminate the defect and replace it with wisdom.

My Creator, allow me to have my defects because through them I gain in knowledge of Your will.


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Keep It Simple


The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm. --- Swedish proverb


During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot.
So, a lot of us come to recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted.
But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again.


Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to.


Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted.

Character Building

Demands made upon other people for too much attention, protection, and love can only invite domination or revulsion. . . .

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44

When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step, I didn't think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted to think of it more of an asset (that is, the desire to please people). It was quickly pointed out to me that this "need" can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy getting the approval of others, but I am not willing to pay the price I used to pay to get it. I will not bend myself into a pretzel to get others to like me. If I get your approval, that's fine; but if I don't, I will survive without it. I am responsible for speaking what I perceive to be the truth, not what I think others may want to hear.

Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened in the A.A. program, my aim is to improve my character.



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Twenty-Four Hours A Day



A.A. Thought for the Day

Since I've been in A.A., have I made a start toward becoming more loving to my family and friends? Do I visit my parents? Am I more appreciative of my spouse than I was before? Am I grateful to my family for having put up with me? Have I found real understanding with my children? Do I feel that the friends I've found in A.A. are real friends? Do I believe that they are always ready to help me and do I want to help them if I can? Do I really care now about other people?

Meditation for the Day

Not what you do so much as what you are, that is the miracle-working power. You can be a force for good, with the help of God. God is here to help you and to bless you, here to company with you. You can be a worker with God. Changed by God's grace, you shed one garment of the spirit for a better one. In time, you throw that one aside for a yet finer one. And so from character to character, you are gradually transformed.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may accept every challenge. I pray that each acceptance of a challenge may make me grow into a better person.

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Thought for Today



"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."


--Will Rogers



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Buddha/Zen Thoughts



So much fear and desire come from that commitment to 'I am'--to being somebody. Eventually they take us to anxiety and despair; life seems much more difficult and painful than it really is.

But when we just observe life for what it is, then it's all right: the delights, the beauty, the pleasures are just that.

-Ajahn Sumedho, "Seeing the Way"



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Native American



"With children we always have to think about seven generations to come but yet unborn."

--Janice Sundown Hattet, SENECA

What we do today will effect the children seven generations form now. How we treat the Mother Earth will affect the children yet to be born. If we poison the water today, our children's children will be affected by the decision we made. Our children are the gateway to the future. Let us conscientiously think about the children and the seven generations to come.

My Creator, I thank you for my ancestors, seven generations ago.

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Keep It Simple



To know all things is not permitted. --- Horace


In recovery, we give up trying to be perfect. We give up trying to know
everything. We work at coming to know and accept our short-comings. In
Step Four and Five, we look at our good points and our bad points. In Step
Six, we become ready to have our Higher Power remove our "defects of
character." Then in Step Seven we ask our Higher Power to remove our
"shortcomings."
Recovery is about coming to accept that we're not prefect. We admit that
trying to be perfect got in the way of being useful to ourselves, our
Higher Power, and those around us. Pretending to be prefect doesn't allow
us to be real. It's also boring and no fun---you never get to mess up.


Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You will let me know what I need to know. Allow me to claim
my mistakes and shortcomings.


Action for the Day: I will work at being okay today. Not prefect, just okay.

Come visit us at Friendship House.

A Lifelong Task

"But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow take it easy? That's what I want to know."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, up. 26

I was never know for my patience. How many times have I asked, "Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now? "Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial "kid in a candy store." I couldn't wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months' work, or so I thought! I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking.



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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought for the Day

Sometimes we try too hard to get this program. It is better to relax and accept it. It will be given to us, with no effort on our part, if we stop trying too hard to get it. Sobriety can be a free gift of God, which He gives us by His grace when He knows we are ready for it. But we have to be ready. Then we must relax, take it easy, and accept the gift with gratitude and humility. We must put ourselves in God's hands. We must say to God: "Here am I and here are all my troubles. I've made a mess of things and can't do anything about it. You take me and all my troubles and do anything you want with me." Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?

Meditation for the Day

Fear is the curse of the world. Many are our fears. Fear is everywhere. I must fight fear as I would a plague. I must turn it out of my life. There is no room for fear in the heart in which God dwells. Fear cannot exist where true love is or where faith abides. So I must have no fear. Fear is evil, but "perfect love castes out all fear." Fear destroys hope and hope is necessary for all of humanity.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have no fear. I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life.

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Thought for Today



Expectations
My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations.
The higher my expectations of other people,
the lower is my serenity.
I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my
expectations.
But then my "rights" try to move in,
and they too can force my serenity level down.
I have to discard my "rights" as well as my expectations,
by asking myself, How important is it, really?
co. 2001 AWASH, Alcoholics Anonymous, up. 420
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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Thought to Ponder . . .
Heighten your perceptions
and lower your expectations.



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Buddha/Zen Thoughts

Leave the mind in its natural, undisturbed state. Don't follow thoughts of "This is a problem, that is a problem!" Without labeling difficulties as problems, leave your mind in its natural state. In this way, you will stop seeing miserable conditions as problems."

-Lama Zopa Rinpoche, "Transforming Problems Into Happiness"

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Native American

"I have always searched for my place and my people."

--Wendy Rose, HOPI/MIWOK

For every human being to feel connected, we must have the feeling of belonging. That is one of the values and benefits of a culture: it creates the feeling of belonging. If for some reason, while you were growing up, you did not develop the feeling of belonging, a search will be triggered and a restlessness will be present in your heart. You will have a hole inside you, something missing, until you find your place and your people. Remember, we can get this feeling of belonging when we realize we belong to the Great Spirit and that He really loves us a lot.

My Creator, today, I belong to You. Let me feel Your presence. Thank You.

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Keep It Simple

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today. --- William Allen White


Big changes are happening to us, but we can trust that changes will bring good things. After all, what have we got to lose? We have lived through the days and years of our addiction. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, the pain of those days has ended. We have no reason to worry.

Yet, recovery won't make our lives perfect. Hard things still happened. But we never have to lose hope again. We never have to feel alone with our problems. What will come next? We don't know the details, but we can be sure the future will be good if we stay on our path of recovery.


Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know life holds many new things for me. Help me and protect me as I live in Your care today.


Action for the Day: Today, I'll trust that each day of my life will bring me good. I will share this idea with one friend.

Come share the journey with us at Friendship House