We provide a refuge for recovery where those suffering from addiction can heal with the love, help and experience of others who have recovered through spiritual principles.
As Blog administrator I don't often post articles but this one from Frank Bruni at the New York Times is a must read for people like us. I hope you find it as interesting as I did, and if you do please share it with your friends.
Drinking and Drugging
By FRANK BRUNI
New York Times
Published: February 19, 2012
"CRACK is wack."
Remember that phrase? I heard many people repeat it last
week as they appraised the waste of Whitney Houston's later years and flashed
back to her 2002 interview with Diane Sawyer, when she uttered those immortal
words. She was bristling not at rumors that she abused drugs but at
insinuations that she turned to cheap ones. With album sales like hers, you
didn't have to suck on a pipe.
Sawyer wanted to know what Houston was on. Everyone wanted
to know what Houston was on, and news reports after her death took unconfirmed
inventory of the pills in her hotel suite, wondering if they represented the
extent of her indulgences.
No. By many accounts, Houston also drank. More than a
little. In fact one early, leading theory about the cause of her death, which
won't be known until toxicology tests are finished, was that a mix of
prescription drugs and alcohol did her in.
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 58
What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.
************************************************************* Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day
In the story of the Good Samaritan, the wayfarer fell among robbers and was left lying in the gutter, half dead. And a priest and a Levite both passed by on the other side of the road. But the Good Samaritan was moved with compassion and came to him and bound up his wounds and brought him to an inn and took care of him. Do I treat another alcoholic like the priest and the Levite or like the Good Samaritan?
Meditation for the Day
Never weary in prayer. When one day you see how unexpectedly your prayer has been answered, then you will deeply regret that you have prayed so little. Prayer changes things for you. Practice praying until your trust in God has become strong. And then pray on, because it has become so much a habit that you need it daily. Keep praying until prayer seems to become communion with God. That is the note on which true times of prayer should end.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may form the habit of daily prayer. I pray that I may find the strength I need, as a result of this communion.
****************************************
Thought for Today
"After you ask for guidance--Listen!"
--Barbara Ann Kipfer **************************************************************** Buddha/Zen Thoughts
Patience is the sprouting of religion, firmness its root, good conduct is the flower, the enlightened heart the boughs and branches, wisdom supreme the entire tree, the "transcendent law" the fruit, its shade protects all living things. Say then! Why would you cut it down?
"It's time. If you are to walk the path of heart, then it is time..." --Nippawanock, ARAPAHOE If not now, when? If not me, who? To walk the path of the heart is a great honor. Every human has the choice to walk this path, but very few will decide to make it. Why? Well, because you can't act and behave like everyone else behaves. You must be the person who will learn to look within. You must be the person who will be fully accountable for yourself. You must be the person who prays and meditates. You must be the person who will sacrifice. You must decide to be a Peaceful Warrior. What will you decide today? Oh, Great Mystery, lead me on the path of the heart.
********************************************* Keep It Simple
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.---Sydney J. Harris
Come relax at Friendship House
Relaxing is one of the little joys of life. We can learn to take time from our busy day to chat with a friend, take a hot bath, or spend a few moments sitting alone under a tree. The busier we are, the more we need to take time to relax. When we rest, we stop fussing about the outside world. We find out how we're doing inside. While relaxing, we can best listen to our Higher Power. Our minds calm down. We put busy thoughts aside. Sometimes, we can almost hear our Higher Power say, "Stay quiet and listen! I have something to tell you!"
One of the assignments that we get quite often in this program is to write down the words that best describe our understanding of God. The ones we choose can tell us a great deal about our current spirituality. For many of us, however, the issue is not just what we think of God, but what we imagine God thinks of us.
In other words, if someone asked God for the five words that describe you, what do you think those words would be? Would they be positive? Or do you imagine that God thinks of you in a negative way? If that is what you believe, then your ability to pray will be adversely affected. The problem is that many of us were told that God judges and disdains us because of the kinds of things we’ve done. That belief will keep us from getting the benefits of this program. Our ability to pray and work the Steps improves when we believe that God always regards our persons in very positive and caring ways despite the worst things we’ve done.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I will come to believe that God sees me in positive ways and regards my person with genuine care. I ask my Higher Power to relieve me of negative beliefs that would keep me from having positive experiences in my daily prayer.
As I work through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with sponsors and sponsees, I often think back to my childhood and the roll alcohol played in my early life. One of the things I remember about my old neighborhood in North St. Louis is that there was a tavern on just about every corner.
In the evening the families in the neighborhood would migrate to the stoop or front porch and social interaction of an urban area would begin. When I was at the home of my Grandparent's, which was just down the street from my own home, I found a way to put money in my pocket. The local men would pay me to walk to the corner bar and get the bartender to fill their beer buckets. If I made it back without spilling any of the precious liquid I got a nice tip.
In order to avoid spilling the beer I learned to sip the foam (head) off the bucket before I crossed the street. There was never a time that I did this that I didn't love the taste of the beer. I also liked the way it made me feel. I was somehow changed from being shy and introverted to being a teller of stories. In my Irish hood many people, especially the old ones, still spoke the old language and my Grandmother began to call me scéalaí (storyteller). I later learned that she may have been calling me a liar, an early indication of things to come.
By the time I was 9-years-old I had become an altar boy at my Parish church. My serving partner was the head Grandson of a St. Louis Mafia family Capo and we both learned about the perks of his status. We would get out of school to serve at funerals and we were the regular crew for the 6 A.M. weekday mass both of which took us out of class and the funeral tips were serious moneymakers for the time.
It was during this period that I started hitting the church wine every day. As I look back on it I see that it made life with the Nuns at school somewhat easier. This was the path I chose, the make it easy path, the try not to feel path, the path that I followed for the next 50 or so years until I walked into Friendship House and was ready to change and willing to do whatever it took to do to it.
What's your story? If you would like to share it please do, we'd love to hear it.
Friendship House is the place for new comers, old timers and all those in between.
Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pg. 93
The marvel of A.A. is that I tell only what happened to me. I don't waste time offering advice to potential newcomers, for if advice worked, nobody would get to A.A. All I have to do is show what has brought me sobriety and what has changed my life. If I fail to stress the spiritual feature of A.A.'s program, I am, being dishonest. The newcomer should not be given a false impression of sobriety. I am sober only thought the grace of my Higher Power, and that makes it possible for me to share with others. ****************************************************** Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day Unless we have the key of faith to unlock the meaning of life, we are lost. We do not choose faith because it is one way for us, but because it is the only way. Many have failed and will fail. For we cannot live victoriously without faith; we are at sea without a rudder or an anchor, drifting on the sea of life. Wayfarers without a home. Our souls are restless until they find rest in God. Without faith, our lives are a meaningless succession of unrelated happenings, without rhyme or reason. Have I come to rest in faith?
Meditation for the Day This vast universe around us, including this wonderful earth on which we live, was once perhaps only a thought in the mind of God. The nearer the astronomers and the physicists get to the ultimate composition of all things, the nearer the universe approaches a mathematical formula, which is thought. The universe may be the thought of the Great Thinker. We must try to think God's thoughts after Him. We must try to get guidance from the Divine Mind as to what His intention is for the world and what part we can have in carrying out that intention. Prayer for the Day I pray that I may not worry over the limitations of my human mind. I pray that I may live as though my mind were a reflection of the Divine Mind.
****************************** Thought for Today
"While troubles will come, they are always temporary -- nothing lasts forever. Thus, there is the famous legend that King Solomon, the wisest man of all times, had a ring inscribed with the words, "This too shall pass".
--Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan
***********************************************
Buddha/Zen Thoughts
The one whose mind knows the clarity of perfect wisdom is never afraid or even anxious. Why? Because when being at one with the living power of wisdom, the mother of all the buddhas, that person has the strength to remain in a state of undivided contemplation even while ceaselessly and skillfully engaging in compassionate action. The wise one is enabled to act because of concentration on a single prayer: "May all beings never leave the path of enlightenment, which is their own true nature and is empty of separate self-existence."
-Prajnaparamita
*********************************************** Native American
"Parents have to demonstrate the value of trust, respect and honor." --Haida Gwaii, Traditional Circle of Elders Children learn more by watching than by listening. If we want our children to understand and value trust, they know it by watching how adults live their lives! If we want the children to be respectful, they will observe what the adults do and say to each other. We need to walk our talk. We need to remember the children are watching. Grandfather, help me learn these important values: Trust, Respect and Honor. ******************************************* Walk In Dry Places
Deadlines
Facing delays
The procrastination of our drinking years caused some of us to become compulsive and fearful about meeting deadlines. We fret and stew if we're unable to get things done when we think they should be completed.
Without being careless or irresponsible, we should remember that we're really living in a spiritual world on a spiritual basis. There are times when a delay even turns out to be beneficial because additional information or assistance turns up later on to ensure the success of a project.
It is part of mature living to keep promises and to meet the proper deadlines. Let's be sure, however, that we're not simply meeting unrealistic deadlines of our own making. We don't have to do this to atone for any failures of the past.
I'll look over my plans today to make sure that I haven't set any unrealistic deadlines for myself. I may be trying too much, too soon.
"At one time . . . every A.A. group had many membership rules. Everybody was scared witless that something or somebody would capsize the boat. . . The total list was a mile long. If all those rules had been in effect everywhere, nobody could have possibly joined A.A. at all, . . ."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 139-40
I'm grateful that the Third Tradition only requires of me a desire to stop drinking. I had been breaking promises for years. In the Fellowship I didn't have to make promises, I didn't have to concentrate. It only required my attending one meeting, in a foggy condition, to know I was home.
I didn't have to pledge undying love. Here, strangers hugged me. "It gets better," they said, and "one day at a time, you can do it." They were no longer strangers, but caring friends. I ask God to help me reach out to people desiring sobriety, and to, please, keep me grateful!
**********************************************
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure
immunity from drinking as extensive work with other alcoholics.
Carry the message to other alcoholics. You can help when no one
else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Life
will take on new meaning for you. To watch people recover, to see
them help others in turn, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a
fellowship grow about you, to have a host of friends, this is an
experience you must not miss." Am I always ready and willing to help
other alcoholics?
Meditation For The Day
One secret of abundant living is the art of giving. The paradox of
life is that the more you give, the more you have. If you loose your
life in the service of others, you will save it. You can give
abundantly and still live abundantly. You are rich in one respect – you
have a spirit that is inexhaustible. Let no mean or selfish thought
keep you from sharing this spirit. Of love, of help, of
understanding, and of sympathy, give and keep giving. Give your
personal ease and comfort, your time, your money, and most of all,
yourself. And you will be living abundantly.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may live to give. I pray that I may learn this secret of
We have a saying in Tibet. "If you lose your temper and get angry, bite your knuckles." This means that if you lose your temper, do not show it to others. Rather, say to yourself, "Leave it."
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
********************************
Native American
"I started drinking more seriously, seeking refuge, seeking death actually, from a world that was feeling more and more unnatural to me. Following a painful accident related to drinking, I finally realized that I must decide whether I want to follow my grandparents or truly take up this life. Circumstances that followed led me to choose life."
--Barney Bush, SHAWNEE
My life is run by choices and decisions. Every choice I make today will carry with it the consequences of that choice. Every decision I make today will carry with it the consequences of that decision. The question I will ask myself today is, "Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?" Which ever one I choose will have a lot to do with the consequences I will experience today. If today was the last day of my life, what choices and what decisions would I make?
Oh Great Spirit, guide my path today and help me see the value of choosing the Red Road.
*********************************************
Keep It Simple
Love is something if you give away, you end up having more. --- Malvina Reynolds
Service is how we give love away. It’s the “self” of self-help. Service is not a duty; a gift that’s been given to us. We help ourselves by helping others. It’s how we make sure the program will be here tomorrow. We “carry the message.” It’s just one way we see how important we are to others. The world needs us. The world needs our love.
Prayer for the Day: I pray for help in making service a big part of my program. Higher Power, help me to “carry the message.”
Action for the Day: Which people could use a kind word and a little love? I will go visit them or give them a call.
.
. . we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or
fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying
life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations,
nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 132
When my
own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more
manageable. Stripped of the guilt and remorse that cloaked my drinking
years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition
requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find
answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I am taking myself too
seriously --- and finding it difficult to admit that I've strayed from my
practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the
pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing
me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes
to work the program --- a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of
amends, whatever is appropriate --- are well worth the effort.
Alcoholics are people whose drinking got them into a "blind
alley." They haven't been able to learn anything from their drinking
experiences. They are always making the same mistakes and suffering the same
consequences over and over again. They refuse to admit they're alcoholic.
They still think they can handle the stuff. They won't swallow their pride
and admit that they're different from ordinary drinkers. They won't face the
fact that they must spend the rest of their lives without liquor. They can't
visualize life without ever taking a drink. Am I out of this blind alley?
Meditation for the Day
I believe that God has all power. It is His to give and His to
withhold. But lie will not withhold it from the person who dwells near Him,
because then it passes insensibly from God to that person. It is breathed in
by the person who lives in God's presence. I will learn to live in God's
presence and then I will have those things which I desire of Him: strength,
power, and joy. God's power is available to all who need it and are willing
to accept it.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may get myself out of the way, so that God's power
may flow in. I pray that I may surrender myself to that power.
*********************************
Thought
for Today
"Aim
at the sun and you may not reach it;
but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed
at an object on a level with yourself." --I.
Hawks
*************************************************
Buddha/Zen
Thoughts
Let
us live in joy, not hating those who hate us.
Among
those who hate us, we live free of hate.
Let
us live in joy, free from disease among those who are diseased.
Among
those who are diseased, let us live free of disease.
Let
us live in joy, free from greed among the greedy.
Among
those who are greedy, we live free of greed.
Let
us live in joy, though we possess nothing.
Let
us live feeding on joy, like the bright gods.
*********************************
Native American
"Our
true enemies, as well as our true sources of strength, lie within."
--Willaru Huayta, QUECHUA NATION, PERU
A long time ago, the Creator put inside
the human being the secrets to the laws of life. We usually know this is true
even though we may not know what these laws are. If something goes wrong with
our lives, we usually fix the blame on something outside of ourselves. We
tend to give up accountability. One way or another we say, "It's not my
fault." We need to realize that all permanent and lasting change starts
on the inside and works its way out. If it's meant to be, it is up to me.
Oh Great Spirit, let me
realize fully that my problems are of my own making. Therefore, so are the
solutions.
*********************************
Keep It Simple
Sex, like all else between human beings, is never
prefect.
--- Theodore Isaac Rubin
Addiction made our sex lives a mess. Maybe we
wanted prefect sex or we wanted no sex.
We were afraid. Maybe we wanted a high from sex we just couldn't seem to get
it. Some of us had lots of sex partners; some of us had none. What now?
We're doing what we need to do by being in recovery. We're getting to know
ourselves. We're living by our real values. We’re being honest with
ourselves and others. We're learning to love and care about others. It's open,
honest caring we express with our bodies. Thus, sex can be trusting and safe.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I turn over my sex life and my will
to You---Just for today. I know You want me to be happy.
Action for the Day: What do I believe about sex? How does it match with
what's said in the third paragraph above?
. . . what comes
to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful
thinking. The benefits of talking to another person is that we can get
his direct comment and counsel on our situation. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 60
I cannot count the times when I have been angry and
frustrated and said to myself, "I can't see the forest for the
trees!" I finally realized that what I needed when I was in such
pain was someone who could guide me in separating the forest and the trees; who
could suggest a better path to follow; who could assist me in putting out
fires; and help me avoid the rocks and pitfalls.
I ask God, when I'm in the forest, to give me
the courage to call upon a member of A.A.
I had to
show off and boast so that people would think I amounted to something, when, of
course, both they and I knew that I really didn't amount to anything. I didn't
fool anybody. Although I've been sober for quite a while, the old habit of
building myself up is still with me. I still have a tendency to think too well
of myself and to pretend to be more than I really am. Am I always in danger of
becoming conceited just because I'm sober?
Meditation for the Day
I cannot
ascertain the spiritual with my intellect. I can only do it by my own faith and
spiritual faculties. I must think of God more with my heart than with my head.
I can breathe in God's very spirit in the life around me. I can keep my eyes
turned toward the good things in the world. I am shut up in a box of space and
time, but I can open a window in that box by faith. I can empty my mind of all
the limitations of material things. I can sense the Eternal.
Prayer for the Day
I pray
that whatever is good I may have. I pray that I may leave to God the choice of what
good will come to me.
Anger - highly disturbed aspect of mind
that arises when we see something unpleasant - enemies, and so forth Attachment - attachment to ego
/ self / others / things causes suffering (see attachment
page) Pride - is your inflated opinion of
yourself and can manifest in relation to some good or bad object: your power,
wealth, good qualities, family, wisdom, pure ethics - even your pleasant voice
or physical prowess Ignorance - not knowing, not seeing, not
understanding, being unclear, and so forth. Ignorance is like blindness - not
seeing the nature or mode of existence of something. Ignorance is the root of all delusions. Doubt - directed towards the four truths,
the Three Jewels, cause and effect
Deluded Views - there are 5
The view that equates the self with the
perishable
Extreme Views - views such as the continuity of
the 'I' as being discontinued at death
The view of holding aggregates to be supreme
Holding an ethic or mode of behaviour to be
supreme
Wrong views - such as Three Jewels do not exist,
cause and effect do not exist
"There
are many things to be shared with the four colors of man in our common
destiny as one family upon our Mother the Earth."
---- Traditional Circle of Elders, NORTHERN
CHEYENNE
The Elders tell us the time will come when the four
colors of Man will unite into one family. According to prophecies, we were
told this would happen when the Sun was blocked in the Seventh Moon. There
was an eclipse of the Sun in July, 1991. We are now in a new Springtime
called the Coming Together Time. Each of the four colors of man has knowledge
that the other colors need to heal their families. Let us all be willing to
sit in a circle and respect our differences.
Forgiveness is
all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills. --- Catherine Ponder
We need to forgive
so we can heal. Forgiveness means not wanting to get even. Forgiveness
means letting go of self-will. Anger and hate are forms of self-will take up
room in our heart. Yet, a still, small voice inside of us wants to forgive.
Just as others have forgiven us, we need to forgive them. When we forgive, we
give our will to our Higher Power. When we forgive, we make room in our heart
for our Higher Power. By giving up our anger and our hate, we let that still,
small voice come through a little louder. This is how we heal. This is why
forgiving is so powerful for us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me let go
of self-will. Help me forgive people.
Action for the Day: I will list any anger or
hate I have. I will think about how this gets in my way, and I'll pray to have
this removed.
Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our
sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group at Friendship House.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 111-12
My family members suffer from the effects of my
disease. Loving and accepting them
as they are---just as I love and accept A.A. members---fosters a return of
love, tolerance and harmony to my life.
Using common courtesy and respecting others' personal boundaries are
necessary practices for all areas of my life.
"We who have accepted the A.A. principles have been
faced with the necessity for a thorough personal housecleaning. We must face
and be rid of the things in ourselves which have been blocking us. We therefore
take a personal inventory. We take stock honestly. We search out the flaws in
our make-up which caused our failure. Resentment is the number one offender.
Life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. If
we are to live, we must be free of anger." Am I free of resentment and
anger?
Meditation for the Day
Keep in mind the goal you are striving for, the good life
you are trying to attain. Do not let little things divert you from the path. Do
not be overcome by the small trials and vexations of each day. Try to see the
purpose and plan to which all is leading. If, when climbing a mountain, you
keep your eyes on each stony or difficult place, how weary is your climb. But
if you think of each step as leading to the summit of achievement from which a
glorious landscape will open out before you, then your climb will be endurable
and you will achieve your goal.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may realize that life without a goal is
futile. I pray that I may find the good life worth striving for.
"Everyone is looking for happiness and avoiding
suffering. This is the purpose of philosophy, the basis of all religion and the
drive to create indoor plumbing.
"They also learned, and perhaps this was the most
important thing, how to look at things through the eyes of the Higher
Powers."
--Fools Crow, LAKOTA
Our eyes can only see our beliefs. Our beliefs cause us to
make assumptions, draw conclusions and cause confusion. Our five senses are
very limiting. The Creator has a way of allowing us to see or know in the
spiritual world. This is called the Sixth Sense. The Sixth Sense is like a
radar system; our personal radar system. It will help us "see"
opportunities and help us avoid disaster. This Sixth Sense is controlled by
God. We must learn to listen to it. We must learn to trust it. We must learn to
act on it even if our head says differently. We must learn to look at things
through the eyes of God.
My Creator, guide me today. If my eyes cause confusion, let
me close them and see through Your eyes. If my ears hear confusion, let me
listen to my heart. Let me let You guide me.
******************************************
Keep It Simple
Where there is
no vision, a people perish.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Working our program teaches us to see things more clearly.
We learn to look at who we really are. At first, we’re scared to see ourselves.
But it turns out okay, even though were not perfect.
We also begin to see others more clearly. We see good in
people we don’t like. And we see faults in people we thought we’re prefect. But
we don’t judge people anymore. Nobody is perfect. Just as our program friends
accept us as we are, we learn to accept others.
Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, sometimes I don’t like what I see. Help me to believe Your
way will for me. Help me have a vision.
Action for the Day:
I will use my new way of seeing thing to avoid trouble today.
